Almost Comical

Do you ever have the feeling that your day is following a script? That some sadistic situation comedy writer has carefully orchestrated every movement down to the creepy Salvation Army bell ringer loudly singing off-key carols in the Kroger lobby? Yeah. That's how today has been.

I had big plans for today. You see, tomorrow my mom and sister come to visit. I had shopping to do and a house to clean and all kinds of big plans to ensure Christmas-time bliss. Of course, I should know by now that the key to disappointment is high expectations.

I woke up this morning with two crusted over eyes. I was the last in the family to get the leftovers from our Thanksgiving trip and I almost thought I had escaped. But no, a full two weeks after our return I came down with a double case of pink-eye. So, this morning, I called and made myself a doctor's appointment and then dragged Michael, fully garbed in Thomas the Train pajamas, through a waiting room, a doctor's office and a Wal-mart pharmacy experience which I couldn't possibly give justice to at this late hour.

Then I went home and looked at my house and I wanted to cry. It didn't help that a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios had been left unattended by a certain 1st grader and dumped over by either the toddler or the cat. I carefully scooped up what I could of the Cheerios and just decided to avoid the sticky spot on the floor until later that day. Maybe the horse pill super-antibiotics that my doctor had put me on would kick in and I would suddenly feel great in a few hours.

After car pool, piano lessons, and a quick nap, I made an executive decision that my visitors would value a full fridge over a not sticky floor and made my way to Kroger. You guessed it. This is where I spotted the creepy singing bell-ringer. I had never seen a Kroger so busy in my whole life. Never. What was the deal? It didn't help that this particular Kroger is in the middle of remodeling to better serve us and in order to go from the meat department to the cracker aisle required a hard hat. But, back to the point, yes, the Kroger was super busy. Then I noticed that just about every cart had a large bag of de-icing salt under it. Then I heard a lady talking to another in line about whether or not the ice storm that is coming tonight is going to shut down the city like it did in 2002. Then I realized that everyone was stocking up so they wouldn't have to leave the house tomorrow. Then I remembered that I am picking up my mom and sister in Louisville at the airport tomorrow with two swollen crusted over eyes in a minivan that has a questionable braking system. And, I had plenty of time to think this through, because the line I had carefully selected was held up for a good 20 minutes for some unknown reason after my groceries were already on the belt.

So, with all of this heavily weighing on my mind, I made my way home and with the help of my sweet husband, I got groceries put away and even managed to get the sticky stuff off of my kitchen floor. My eyes were crusting over again, but I had a system comprising of warm washcloths and gentle strokes and I was at least managing to save most of my eyelashes.

Just as I was ready to go to bed, the final straw was placed. I was looking up my son's school website to try and get the time to record his school program from the TV when I noticed that he was, as a 3rd grader, required to wear an orange or yellow dress code shirt to school tomorrow for this special day. Though I was sure we had purchased every color possible of the schools required dress code, apparently we had neglected both orange and yellow. Had he been in any other grade, he would have had the shirt. So, at 10:00 p.m., I was back at Wal-mart. The only orange dress code shirt left was a size 10-12 husky. It'll drowned him, but it is the right color and quite a bargain at only $6. Of course, it took me 20 minutes to check out since the register locked down when the woman in front of me attempted to use a gift card (apparently the registers are not set up to actually redeem them). While we waited for a manager to come, the cashier looked at me and said, "Wow, what's wrong with your eyes? Are you sick?"

I just nodded. Maybe tomorrow will be better.