Monday, November 24, 2008

The Girl Date

In my early college days, before my Brig-in-shining-armor came along and rescued me, I used to live in an apartment with 5 other girls. Though I am still close friends with some of those girls, I have to admit that the situation did not suit me well and I'm afraid that many of my ex-roommates would agree. Being a left-brained, logical, rational person didn't bode well in the emotionally-laden, PMS-prone environment. So, when the weekend came around and I had a date - which didn't happen every weekend, but often enough - I celebrated my time away from my female world with great pleasure. Well, except for that one night where my date wore too much cologne and left me with a migraine by the end of the night. But, that's another story.

So, time has passed and my world has changed. Now I live in an all-male environment. My basement is full of camping gear and my garage is full of power tools. Even most of my students are male. So, it was with great anticipation that I embarked on my "girl date" this weekend. My friend, Hiroe (who also lives in an all-male home), and I left our kids with our husbands and hit the town on Saturday night. Our wild night included prime rib and Barnes and Noble, which is about as wild as I get these days.

I don't get a girl's night out very often. This is mainly my own fault. You see, we have moved close to every three years (or less) since we have been married. I am an introvert (understatement) and tend to lack some basic social skills, so it takes at least this long for me to find a female friend. Then comes the hard part - keeping the friend. Between my innocent comments that sometimes come across as offensive and my woman cave, which can be interpreted as the silent treatment, I tend to lose friends quickly and with great skill.

Lucky for me, there are a few unique people in this world who can handle the idiosyncrasies that are me. This is a good thing, because I am somewhat stubborn and set in my ways and I'm just not willing to change who I am at this point in life to accommodate friends. But, and it is hard for me to admit this, I still need them. And I still need girl dates. And since I have been unable to convince any of my sisters to move to Kentucky, I am grateful to Hiroe and all of her predecessors for chipping through my granite shell and finding out that underneath it all, I'm just as human and needy as everyone else.


Brig said...

Admit it: this was just an elaborate sham to find an excuse to drive my new car.

Brig said...

P.S. I can't say I blame you if it was!

Hiroe said...


We sure did our girl-date right! We were quite efficient with our 4.5 hours too. We discussed so many different topics and covered a variety of emotions. Being with someone so financially responsible, I felt as if I had received some grand fiscal clearance to indulge myself with a prime rib dinner (since you did too!). Did you notice...I even ordered a Coke which I typically hate ordering drinks in restaurants (overpriced). So thank you for great conversation, delicious food, and a priceless friendship. You know you've just been on a good date when at the end of it you feel happier about yourself and the world.

Next date...January 2009!


p.s. Next time we'll drive with the top down (Brig's new car that is!).

Liz said...

Yes, you totally pushed me away by your sometimes offensive comments and so forth - evidenced by the fact that I am now reading your blog and openly commenting (and if you can't sniff the sarcasm then you're not the person I think you are).

I am not as much of a social bug as I used to be - especially since moving to Florida. Thankfully, Peter has become a litter more social and we have evened out some.

Though maybe not as introverted as you claim to be, the same kind of emotional, PMS-driven women pretty much drive me crazy (I guess I can occasionally include myself in that lot of women so that I don't mark myself as a hypocrite).

I Love your blog!

Charlene Roberts said...

You are a beautiful friend Kara. One of the most unique and cherished people I have ever met over my years. Since we have known each other most of our years I think it is fair for me to speak so boldly. I too get so caught up in life- I often deny I need girl time. Since I have been back in Utah for the past five years, I have a hard time pushing myself socially. With all the sisters (sister in laws) I have here I find plenty of "girl time" fulfillment and about all I can handle time wise.

frizzlefry said...

I believe we would get along quite well. I'm totally in on the moving every three years and on the not really being willing to change my idiosyncrasies to accommodate some stepford wives! :)

Who has time to put the effort into changing? Geez! I'm just lucky to shower regularly!