Thursday, August 28, 2008

Charlie, two words: Therapy

My baby has therapy this morning, speech therapy that is. It is true. We have retained the services of a professional to help my one year old to learn to say "ball". The therapist is confident that he is just a little speech delayed and has every expectation that he will catch up by kindergarten, but we see no reason not to get him any help that he might need - the earlier, the better.

In fact, I am a big believer in therapy. Sometimes, things that society believes are suppose to come naturally need to be helped along a little. Sometimes, we just can't figure things out on our own, even if we are, for instance, really good at math. So, here is where I tell you, that I, too, am in therapy. Not speech therapy (though, according to a few of my students, I could probably use that as well), but grief therapy. Last month my sister passed away. It wasn't one of those expected deaths that we were all prepared for. It was sudden and it was traumatic and I guess I needed some help figuring out exactly how I was suppose to grieve. So, believe it or not, there are experts out there on grieving. I'm not sure exactly what would inspire someone to go into that line of work, but the woman I see is one of the most compassionate and real people I know.

I'm not really aware of what I was expecting when I went in, but looking back, I think I wanted a list. Considering my left brain is quite dominate, I wanted it to be a logical process. As a side note, I've often pictured my right brain as a small shriveled walnut that was conquered during my early twenties and is now afraid to come out. But, anyway, back to the issue at hand. Apparently, there is not a list. There are stages, but depending on who you are, you may not even display some of the stages and others may exhibit themselves in non-traditional ways. And that is okay, according to my expert on grief. Which I guess is what I really needed to know. I needed an expert to tell me that I wasn't crazy and that what I was going through was normal for the circumstance. I needed to know that my form of broken was fixable and I needed to know that it was okay that I felt broken. And, as it turns out, even with all of my idiosyncrasies, and with professional help, I was able to grieve, and I am starting to move on.


~Mountain Lover~ said...

I'm very sorry about your sister. I lost mine unexpectedly and violently 5.5 years ago. Grief is the most complicated, frustrating and painful experience I have ever been through in my life.

One of the things I found helpful was being able to talk to people who went through something similar and understand accept what you're going through for what it is. All my other friends sort of ditched me because they didn't want to "break me" and didn't know what to say. It was hard on them too I guess, imagining if it had been their sibling.

Be good and patient with yourself. It does get better, but it will be hard for a while.

Christina Munyan said...

Woot for therapy! Actually, I hate therapy, but I am glad that you are taking care of problems before they become major issues. Not taking care of the grieving process can just lead to bad, evil things like depression and extreme behaviour. I should know! I have had personal experience with both. Hee hee! The anger stage is my favorite...any emotion is better than being void of emotion.

Good luck with it though, and email me if you need to chat. :)

Julene said...

Chocolate is great therapy. As is sushi, I'm learning.

Charlene Roberts said...

WHAT? Kara, you will have to tell me more detail to this part of your life- since I know your family. Sweetie, I am so heart broken for you. Sending all my love